American Idull

Last night, I realized for the 1st time that the Simon guy from American Idol is not of this world. He is a demon from hell, sent here to harvest souls. At the very least, he was a mortal man who signed his soul over the devil in exchange for his strange powers of mass hypnosis. What else can explain the appeal of that abomination? Think Im exaggerating? Take this into consideration.

I get a call last night from a friend of mine who's all upset. My friend, who we will refer to as "Alice", had forgotten to pay her cable bill and had her service turned off. As a result, she had no way to watch her favorite TV show, American Idol. I tried to explain to her a couple of times that Idol was on FOX, a broadcast TV network, and that all she needed was an antenna, available from any WalMart or Radio Shack. This concept seemed lost on her though, and she didn't have access to a vehicle at that moment anyway. Whatever was she going to do? Bowman to the rescue! I ended up putting my phone in front of my TV, turning on American Idol, and letting her listen to it in Florida while I went back downstairs and listened to the ball game. When I picked up the receiver at 9, she was still there and amazingly grateful. Without me and my quick thinking, she would have missed out on this huge event.

Its so evil its creepy.